Calm Down? Fuck Around and Find Out.
Telling someone with BPD to “calm down” is like telling a raccoon in a dumpster fire to “just breathe.” Babe, I am the raccoon. I am the fire. And I just found a half-melted Snickers bar of emotional instability. This post is a glitter-coated Molotov cocktail aimed directly at the phrase “calm down”—because when you say it, my brain doesn’t de-escalate. It escalates. Dramatically. Featuring sarcasm, spirals, and the kind of emotional intensity that could power a small city.
Split Happens, but I happen louder.
Favorite Person Syndrome: Like Heroin, But With More Crying in the Fridge
When your Favorite Person is your emotional oxygen, even a “k” text can trigger a full-blown spiral. This post dives into the chaos of FP dynamics with BPD—equal parts glitter, panic, and fridge-based crying.
Well, What Did I Do?
A snarky, emotionally spicy reflection on accountability, mental health, and the fine line between protecting yourself and projecting onto others. It’s not a meltdown—it’s a spicy audit of behavior, featuring duct-taped feelings, glittery self-awareness, and the question that always hits hardest: Well… what did I do?
Feelings, But Make em’ Functional
Emotional regulation is a scam, and I’m here to make it sexy. If you’ve ever cried in a Target parking lot while Googling “coping skills for spicy brains,” congratulations—you’re my target audience. This isn’t a guide, it’s a glitter-covered meltdown map. We’re not fixing feelings here; we’re weaponizing them. Grab your flowchart, your sarcasm, and maybe a snack. It’s time to feel everything and still make it to your 2PM meeting like the emotionally unstable legend you are.